Empowering Seniors Through a Move: Preserving Comfort and Independence

Moving is never just about boxes and addresses, it’s about change. For some, change can be deeply overwhelming and unwelcome. Moving and downsizing from a home that’s been lived in for years to a condo or apartment requires that much more change. It’s about letting go, but at the same time reconfiguring our set-up in a new space.

If that already sounds overwhelming, it’s because it is!

We often don’t realize how much of our comfort depends on familiar systems, and how each system affects our daily living.

Consider a few examples of systems that surround us: the buttons on an oven or washer/dryer; knowing which days to put out the garbage or recycling; the series of steps required from a letter arriving in the mail, opening, filing, and paying a bill; the pivot required to carry the bowl of hot soup from the stove to the table; where to find our kitchen scissors; the cozy moment of sitting down to watch TV on the tube with a warm cup of java.

When these systems are disrupted, even small tasks can feel daunting. In my experience, preserving them, or thoughtfully recreating them, is one of the most powerful ways to support a senior during a move.

Let’s walk through different set-ups so that when you help an elderly parent or friend move, you can provide guidance and empower them throughout as they settle into their new space.

Familiarity Always Wins Over New

If possible, when moving or downsizing, try to minimize the number of new systems that come into play. An old coffee machine might be inexpensive to replace, and perhaps even less expensive to buy new rather than to move the existing one, but this introduces a new system at a moment when comfort and familiarity are needed most.

We once helped a client relocate from Montreal to Vancouver to be closer to her children. We recommended that she move the slightly damaged coffee maker because she knew exactly how to make her coffee with that machine. Her family disagreed. At the new home, guess who was overwhelmed with everything new? She couldn’t make her own coffee, felt diminished, and needed to wait for support from her son. A small moment of comfort in her daily routine could have made the transition smoother and provided her with a sense of “Ah, I got this.”

Technology is hard to keep up with on a daily basis. If you know someone who is moving, encourage them to minimize getting everything ‘new.’ It will come at a cost of being overwhelmed, and this is the time when comfort can go a long way.

Struggling to find “the familiar” after a move is not only frustrating, but can make or break someone’s happiness. Think about being challenged with the buttons on a new remote control, having difficulty figuring out the new settings on a stove, microwave, washer/dryer, all the way down to not being certain on how to get the knobs in the shower to work.

Comfort and familiarity provide support and empowerment in the tiniest of ways, and those moments are priceless.

Other systems, daily and weekly ones, like the task of putting out the garbage, may seem simple because they have been done the same way for years and years. But moving to a condo or an apartment changes this well-established routine of knowing how to handle one’s own trash. Seems simple enough, but when you feel your whole world is upside down, these simple systems become challenging to keep up with. Take time to show the person you are helping where to dispose of items and explain any new rules. Remind them that at this new location, there may no longer be daily pick-up restrictions, and there may be a new sorting system to learn. The adaptation will come with time, but guidance at the very beginning can help ease their nervous system.

Pack with Purpose. Not Everything is as it Seems.

Before packing or letting go of items, be in tune to all the systems that surround the person you are helping. Sometimes, the most important systems are the ones we don’t see.

Once, we found a large wooden spoon resting on the edge of a client’s washing machine, as we were assisting him with a relocation. It seemed really out of place. Why was it there? He could not tell us because he was hospitalized and not in the room. We thought perhaps it was to help him reach the clothes at the bottom of the wash basin because of his fused spine. It turns out we were right! That wooden spoon moved with him and was repositioned in his new bathroom on the edge of the washing machine, just like before, so that he could remain as independent as possible in his new space.

Sometimes a kitchen utensil is not just a utensil. It is a system that provides independence!

When helping a loved one relocate, ask questions. Many questions. Understand the Why is this here? Why is it used this way? Who are you helping, and what are their systems? Be curious. Not to judge, but to make sure those systems can be set up again on the other end.

Everything in their environment is a part of a system, and the goal of a move is to rebuild those systems as close to what they have now so that it is recreated in their new space. Imagine cupping your two hands together, lift up, slowly shifting them slightly in one direction, slowly lower and then gently splitting your hands apart. That’s the kind of help and support that is needed during a move.

Gentle. Intentional. Respectful.

Label boxes with as much detail as possible so that unpacking is less of a puzzle. One example would be to gather all the sweaters from the bottom drawer of the dresser, wrap them in packing paper, and label it ‘Bottom left-hand dresser drawer.’ Do the same for every other drawer in their home, so it can all be rebuilt as close to what it is now in the new space.

Attention to detail will ease the ‘overwhelm’ of a move. Empowering a senior is about preserving what matters, minimizing the new items that need to be figured out, and honouring the systems that support their independence. Protecting routines throughout the transition sets them up for success and allows your loved on to thrive in their new environment.