A reality check as we celebrate International Seniors Day
The conversation is quiet. The fear is real.
What can we do? First, let’s take a moment to celebrate International Seniors Day by stopping in for a friendly visit, picking up the phone, or lending a hand to an elder. You have the power to bring joy into someone’s day today.
There is so much beauty to be seen in our elders. They possess a wealth of information and abundant know-how. However, one of their most inspiring aspects is the courage they have to keep showing up, their perseverance in facing challenging days and moments in life, and their sheer will to keep going.
The systems and technologies we use, the buildings we walk in, the richness of the soil we harvest from, were all developed by the people who walked before us. Yet, in the decades after their retirement, when difficult conversations need to take place, they somehow become transparent and overlooked.
Where is the honour to all their contributions? Daily, as I stand beside seniors, it is painful to see this happen in too many situations out in the community, at the doctor’s office, and even in their own homes.
We are all getting older. There are many taboos associated with aging, and people tend to avoid discussing it for fear of hurting their loved ones. Often, the result is that everyone turns away from the conversation. The language we use when there is a change in autonomy is heavy and often toxic. What are we doing to make it better?
Change comes in small, constant gestures. When we see seniors for who they are today, and not for what they have lost, the deepening of their engagement is monumental. The heaviness starts to lift.
By listening to their fears and concerns, sitting with them through mourning and grief, asking about what they are doing this week and simply being a sounding board, we can break isolation and allow a person to feel whole and that they matter. We all need a village and we may not realize it, but we have a lot that we bring to their tables.
The way I see it, if we want to make progress when it comes to aging and our seniors, it starts with our words. Most of the current wording used is heavy, negative and really not pleasant.
When a senior faces a change in their autonomy, we often hear words like “force,” “make,” “place,” “put,” and “they have no choice.” I hear these expressions in the media, at the hospital, by well-meaning family members, and even by seniors themselves.
Why? Because this is the language we know and use. Each time these words are spoken, they create a heaviness in every conversation and every heart.
When we use supportive and positive language to address seniors facing a change in health with words like “adapt,” “adjust,” “encourage,” “explore options,” “find solutions,” we can bring lightness and ease to every conversation.
Positive language encourages positive thoughts and actions, especially when fear of change is in the air.
I want to specify that I strongly believe in senior living, it is the language surrounding senior living and ageing that I am working at modifying, Take a moment to listen to our current language and, one word at a time, find the courage to start creating the change we want. We all have the power to do so. When it is our turn in need, whether elderly, isolated, or frail, I know we will truly appreciate the change that we will have created.
For International Seniors Day, let’s pay attention to our choice of words. It is my strong belief that if we shift from using the current bulldozing language, to more positive encouraging language, it will help all of us address aging with more open and constructive conversations. Fresh words at the table will at least get us to start discussing aging instead of always sweeping it under the rug.
Our words matter when it comes to aging, and each one of us has the power to contribute to making the experience of aging a happier time in life. Let’s start today.